Now what? A note to my co-Liberals.

We the people have elected our first black president. There is no way to convey my pride in our country right now. It wasn't that long ago that I was thinking "I love this guy but there's no way."

And BTW, I'm aware of the real concern that he won't live to be inaugurated, a concern I hear not only from African-Americans but from people generally my age and older who remember JFK, MLK, et al. Powerful leaders who want to change the balance of power risk their lives, and we need to remember to be grateful to Barack Obama and his family for their willingness to take this risk for the sake of all of us.

I also want to remember to be grateful to everyone who gave so much money and time to get Obama elected. We all "own a piece of this thing" and that's the other historic thing here. We elected not only a black man, but a man who ran his campaign in an historically different way, a man who worked within his party but also outside the party Machine. He found ways to reach us directly, to work around the Big Media filter. He convinced us he was worth supporting directly, worth our real involvement in the political process. He relied on us, not on the traditional sources of money and support. And he did this by fanning, not our fears but our hopes, however cheesy that sounds now. That's historically significant, too.

Now what?

I think it helps to ask what needs to be undone from the last eight years. It's easy to start listing specific wrongs that need to be righted, there's something more important.

The worst thing was the divisiveness, the utter lack of respect for people who think differently. We liberals tend to focus on all the insults levied at people who are educated, live in cities, are not Conservative Christian, are gay, etc., etc. And we want to blame the Right for this intolerance. We can talk about who is to blame for the divide, but we need to be careful not to do the same thing.

And it's not just about supporting congressional leaders who will "reach across the aisle."

I'm hearing liberals saying things like "I don't understand how anyone could support McCain/Palin." OK, fair enough. But we need to get that question answered. We need to find out. Listen. Listen. Listen. We need Obama to lead the healing, but it won't happen unless we do our part down here on the ground.

Our candidate won. We won. There are a lot of people out there who, for whatever reason, are really afraid of what comes next. We are faced with a choice. Do we just force our agenda and our worldview on the other nearly-half of the country? Or do we try to stitch this country back together into a place where difference is appreciated, where we all -- even those people, the conservative Christian, anti-gay, anti-abortion, pro-Guantanamo, etc. people who live in counties with no Starbucks -- are real Americans entitled to be treated with respect and to participate in the public discourse.

This happens -- or doesn't -- down here in our daily lives.

law school, week one -- behind me!

At the moment, I'm thinking that this will be a weekly opportunity for me to "pause and reflect" as suggested by someone during the orientation process. So, with apologies, I'm mostly doing this for me right now.

As it's late, I'll just plop things onto the page:

1. There is an enormous amount of work! I say this not in self-pity but in real amazement! You may have heard me say that I hoped my inability to read as fast as some (Eric!) and my likely reduced energy levels (as compared to my 20-something classmates) would be balanced by the fact that I don't need to drink and look for a boyfriend. Well, what I have to say now is that it's a seriously good thing that I don't need to do those things because I'm barely -- no, be honest -- not keeping up. It's terrifying at times to realize that I'm doing very little other than this -- not "wasting" much time on self-maintenance, relationships, etc. -- and it's not enough to feel that it's under control. And I've made a deliberate decision not to commit to the "feeding" stuff like pottery (although I have been to Quaker Meeting twice now) and allow myself the odd luxury of just focusing on this.

2. I am told that the only way through is through, so I do the best I can, and try to learn -- not just law, but how to learn, how to study, how to approach all this. They say just keep doing and it will all fall into place. At this point there's nothing to do but to trust that that's true. It's comforting to be surrounded by very smart people who are also in this state. I keep trying to step back and get some perspective now and then.

3. My profs are great. Our constitutional (con) law prof is also our faculty advisor. With him, we have our "small section" class (about 30 people). Also we've had that class a couple of extra times, due to scheduling stuff, so he's the one I feel I have the best sense of, and I feel very lucky to have him. He is very young -- younger than son Michael, which is a grin -- just out of Yale Law last year. This is his first year teaching. That we won't have last year's exams to prepare with will be balanced, I am convinced, by his genuine enthusiasm for the subject/job/class. This class has, by far, the most reading and the reading is very "dense" so it takes forever.

The other classes I have this semester are Property, Contracts, Civil Procedure and "Lawyering." More on them later, but the profs all seem good and have very different personalities.

4. For the first several days, every class required a re-boot of my brain. I went in thinking I was prepared and came out thinking that I had been completely unprepared -- but that I realized something about what I should have done to prepare. Very steep learning curve here.

5. The other students are fabulous. There is a real diversity of personality, if not the race/socio-economic spread one would wish for -- that latter seems to be true of law school in general, from what I can tell. At any rate, the students are more than I hoped for -- they are very smart and very welcoming toward me. It's fun. I'm back in that PK position where, because I stand out, everyone knows my name and I am only very slowly learning theirs, but hey, I've been here before, and I'm enjoying how quickly they begin to ignore my major difference and just treat me like one of the gang.

6, OK, so here are the questions I'm thinking of asking myself at the end of each week. Thanks to my wonderful Partner for help in coming up with them:

• How did the week go?
• What have I learned this week about how to do this?
• What's one thing I could do differently so that I could get more done with less effort?
• Am I allowing for possibilities I don't yet see?
• Is it time yet to add in some fun/feeding stuff?

My white board says "remember that you love this -- don't focus on the burden!"

I'm thinking often of Nate as he launches into college, and of Nick who has been such a cool trailblazer for me, and of Serine who's in my shoes at UT. I am so grateful to family, friends and various communities for all the continued cheerleading of this late blooming of mine -- you have no idea how much that matters. And most of all to Eric, of course, for everything. Thank you.