more on letting go

i have to begin by admitting that i'm a hoarder.

a few years ago when we moved and could not take everything, the process of dealing with all the "stuff" was overwhelming. everything i touched seemed to require this enormously heavy multiple choice question:

keep? take to boston? pack in storage?

don't keep? sell? give to someone? donate? recycle? trash?

the task was just plain painful and overwhelming, partly because it was layered with some things i wasn't really aware of at the time.

this time i decided to take seriously the advice on the front of the card christine gave me several years ago: have nothing in your house that you don't know to be useful or believe to be beautiful (or something like that). i thought i'd try it out and see -- well, honestly, i thought i'd see what was wrong with the advice. =)

have to say i recommend it. i learned some pretty serious stuff about myself:

everything -- everything! -- that i was holding onto that didn't fit one of those categories was attached to me by fear: fear that i might need it someday, fear that someone would be upset if i let it go, etc. this means my house (and evil storage units) had all kinds of stuff that isn't useful and i don't love -- yuck!

i might need it someday, sure, but someone else needs it now. i might need it someday, sure, but i can trust that i will have what i need then, same as now.

and about my great-grandmother's whatever or this thing that so-and-so gave me? if i don't love it or use it, i'm just keeping it out of guilt. is this a good way to honor someone? i can offer it around. if no one else wants it, it's ok to let it go to the habitat store. off it goes to someone who will want it.

the other fear thing was about money. i thought i had to get every penny out of things if i could, and that meant this big monster of selling stuff somehow. paralyzing.

instead i put a few things on craigslist and sold most of them, but just let the other stuff go. money or not, it was really fun when things found a good home, and it has been amazing to see that happen -- people with some need turning up at just the right moment, people loving something i was ready to part with, etc.

and i'm free. freer anyway. i do wonder what it would be like to own nothing, but i'm not there yet.

at this point, i've cleared two (yes, two) storage units, the pottery studio and eric's office. all that's left is at home and the stuff is flying out the door.

everyone (including me at times) is sort of waiting for the crash, since i'm pushing pretty hard here, but what seems to be happening is that it does take energy to walk into all this, but there is also an energy boost that comes from getting free.

anyway, i do highly recommend taking a look around to see what stuff is in your life and why.