law school, week one -- behind me!

At the moment, I'm thinking that this will be a weekly opportunity for me to "pause and reflect" as suggested by someone during the orientation process. So, with apologies, I'm mostly doing this for me right now.

As it's late, I'll just plop things onto the page:

1. There is an enormous amount of work! I say this not in self-pity but in real amazement! You may have heard me say that I hoped my inability to read as fast as some (Eric!) and my likely reduced energy levels (as compared to my 20-something classmates) would be balanced by the fact that I don't need to drink and look for a boyfriend. Well, what I have to say now is that it's a seriously good thing that I don't need to do those things because I'm barely -- no, be honest -- not keeping up. It's terrifying at times to realize that I'm doing very little other than this -- not "wasting" much time on self-maintenance, relationships, etc. -- and it's not enough to feel that it's under control. And I've made a deliberate decision not to commit to the "feeding" stuff like pottery (although I have been to Quaker Meeting twice now) and allow myself the odd luxury of just focusing on this.

2. I am told that the only way through is through, so I do the best I can, and try to learn -- not just law, but how to learn, how to study, how to approach all this. They say just keep doing and it will all fall into place. At this point there's nothing to do but to trust that that's true. It's comforting to be surrounded by very smart people who are also in this state. I keep trying to step back and get some perspective now and then.

3. My profs are great. Our constitutional (con) law prof is also our faculty advisor. With him, we have our "small section" class (about 30 people). Also we've had that class a couple of extra times, due to scheduling stuff, so he's the one I feel I have the best sense of, and I feel very lucky to have him. He is very young -- younger than son Michael, which is a grin -- just out of Yale Law last year. This is his first year teaching. That we won't have last year's exams to prepare with will be balanced, I am convinced, by his genuine enthusiasm for the subject/job/class. This class has, by far, the most reading and the reading is very "dense" so it takes forever.

The other classes I have this semester are Property, Contracts, Civil Procedure and "Lawyering." More on them later, but the profs all seem good and have very different personalities.

4. For the first several days, every class required a re-boot of my brain. I went in thinking I was prepared and came out thinking that I had been completely unprepared -- but that I realized something about what I should have done to prepare. Very steep learning curve here.

5. The other students are fabulous. There is a real diversity of personality, if not the race/socio-economic spread one would wish for -- that latter seems to be true of law school in general, from what I can tell. At any rate, the students are more than I hoped for -- they are very smart and very welcoming toward me. It's fun. I'm back in that PK position where, because I stand out, everyone knows my name and I am only very slowly learning theirs, but hey, I've been here before, and I'm enjoying how quickly they begin to ignore my major difference and just treat me like one of the gang.

6, OK, so here are the questions I'm thinking of asking myself at the end of each week. Thanks to my wonderful Partner for help in coming up with them:

• How did the week go?
• What have I learned this week about how to do this?
• What's one thing I could do differently so that I could get more done with less effort?
• Am I allowing for possibilities I don't yet see?
• Is it time yet to add in some fun/feeding stuff?

My white board says "remember that you love this -- don't focus on the burden!"

I'm thinking often of Nate as he launches into college, and of Nick who has been such a cool trailblazer for me, and of Serine who's in my shoes at UT. I am so grateful to family, friends and various communities for all the continued cheerleading of this late blooming of mine -- you have no idea how much that matters. And most of all to Eric, of course, for everything. Thank you.